Hope Notes: Understanding
We have a deal, you and I.
I promised you that every week I’d send you guaranteed good news, and you subscribed to this newsletter on the strength of that promise. I take it seriously and I am so grateful for your support.
So in the spirit of honoring my commitment, during this very difficult week in America, I want to talk about my Grandma again.
When I think back on the times we spent together, I realize that sometimes I probably seemed strange to her, even unrecognizable. I had moments when I was trying on a new identity, or when I was just not myself because of anxiety or anger.
What I see now is that Grandma used her unconditional love of me to achieve understanding, rather than choosing to love only the things about me that she already understood.
We’re used to thinking of love as a squishy, romantic thing that involves a fair amount of kissing and maybe some candy on Valentines Day. What if we tried practicing love instead as a form of trust that we could extend to anyone, even strangers?
What if we said to each other, “Because I love you, I will keep working to understand you?”
Learning how to love your way into understanding, rather than devoting your love only to the things you already understand, is essential to creating any lasting peace for yourself and others.
It’s the only way to live with teenagers who suddenly dye their hair blue and turn up with a bunch of exotic piercings.
It’s the best way to think about supporting one of those mutual aid groups from last week, some of which have pretty spiky politics.
If you can lead with love, and trust that your understanding will follow, you’re giving both yourself and the other person the hope of greater understanding.
This, in the end, is how hope really works.
Be well, friends.
- Michael
Did you receive this as a forward from a friend? Hope Notes is published each week on Thursdays, which are 100% the best day of the week. Subscribe to future updates here: